When you're dealing with a divorce, it can be a very stressful period of your life. Working with a divorce lawyer can help, and here are four reasons why.

Defiant Children and Parenting

SINGLE MOMS WITH DEFIANT TEENS Being a single parent raising an adolescent's child is very challenging as they get older. Although single parents face many more challenges when their adolescent becomes defiant and believes they are mature because they survive the family's falling-out transition. Significant changes in the family dynamic can influence the child's mental development and psychiatric illnesses. For example, transformed from a two-parent system into a single-parent family system, children are more likely to experience disturbances. In addition, any emotional turmoil and uncertainty will lead to increased psychological problems. Here are some tips that may help a single parent with a defiant teen: Watch for signs of aggressive behavior, and seek immediate counseling; if behavior changes, rapidly. Respect them, and give them time to adjust to your new relationship Show support by attending school functions. Even if your schedule doesn't allow you to. Set a routine, so your kid senses the security and consistency in their life. Take time to pamper yourself to avoid burdening your child with your negative emotions. Support your child with positive encouragement and unconditional love. Even with all the challenges that come with being a single parent, how you raise your child is very critical. Suppose you start forming them early by providing them with a consistent path and structural system. It will transform the child's mental development and positive outlook in life, make them more helpful people and succeed in adulthood. Show your child love, respect, and positivity to ensure that your child thrives in life.

Are you in a toxic relationship? Do you feel that you're being controlled, manipulated, or constantly belittled? Well, that's a sign you're in a toxic relationship. We all know that we didn't start with an unhealthy relationship or want the relationship to be toxic. But thing happens the way it's right now because the person we fell for has turned out to be a toxic one, or perhaps that toxic one is a ticking time bomb; it's just a matter of time until it explodes. Almost all relationships begin with a healthy mind and in the realm of caring; As you spend more time together and your relationship is tested, the flaws can start to build up until you feel like you have nothing positive to say. The flaw will manifest into broken trust, lack of respect, or resentment of an unmet desire. Unfortunately, flaws in a relationship happen to anyone, even the strongest people. An unhealthy relationship contaminates your self-esteem, happiness, and how you see yourself and the world around you. A sufferer in an abusive relationship will sail through life with a track of broken hearts, broken promises, and broken personalities. Instead of accepting the results of an unhealthy relationship, work on identifying the issue and make necessary changes. So, when you recognize the flaws, instead of fighting to hold on to something that is not worth fighting, the only thing left to do is let go with grace and love and move on with dignity.

Christmas is the beautiful time of the year; the family gets together, laughs, cooks, and swaps gifts, but that does not necessarily apply to everyone in this Universe. When you are enjoying yourself, some are struggling with loneliness and sadness. Moreover, not all family is picture-perfect; some may struggle with painfulness when a separation or divorce occurs, making it heart-wrenching and painful as the year comes to an end. Broken families will experience pain and loneliness when Christmas and holidays come around. So what can we do to make this holiday delightful? First, we can't control the situation, but we can make it better by modifying the problem so the outcome will be enjoyable. We need to focus on our children, not ourselves. By focusing on your children, you are transforming the outcome of a situation from negative to a positive result. Focus on your children and treat your ex like a colleague instead of an ex. Speak on a business level instead of a personal level; keep it simple and professional. Remember, your marriage may be doomed, but your relationship with your children shall continue everlastingly; therefore, it's best to remain unbiased with your ex to prevent your children from unfolding their healing wounds. Again, Christmas is a time of peace and benevolence to people around us or people who cross our path. Let's celebrate in prosperity and rejoice in the spirit of Christmas. Focus on your children; don't make yourself a centerpiece of the matter. Cheers, Happy Holidays!

Divorce can be challenging, but recovering is much more complex and hindered because you're transiting from one broken emotion to another. Now it's finally over, and now reality is beginning to creep up. As you are sitting there enjoying a cup of coffee and reflecting on your life, suddenly, you feel lonely, rejected, and hurt, so what do you do? Not doing anything is not a solution; remember, no matter how worse the situation is, there is always a solution or light at the end of the tunnel. To get to the other end of the tunnel, you may need to develop a strategy. The strategy helps heighten your healing journey. Your healing journey will be harrowing and lonely, and it's imperative to stay focused, embrace the journey as you go, and understand that you're fighting this journey alone. Therefore, it's in your best interest to stay focused, grounded, and alert because you are fighting your own battle. One of the many essential elements to strategize the recovery process is recognizing and learning to accept the situation and promulgating the healing process by seeking trained professionals to help with the journey. Sharing your emotion with a professional can help set you free from focusing on the negative view of your divorce. With professional help, you will have the ability to embrace the positive outcome and reinvent yourself to a newer you. Not all will reach out for professional help; when that happens, it will lead to depression, anxiety, or resentment; as the situation worsens, your feelings will intensify, leading to a negative path. A path that will be more intricate and mentally exhausting, causing recovery to be long and stressful. If you have children and work on your healing journey simultaneously, co-parenting can be challenging and stressful. It would help if you had a plan in place to make your life ampler. Remember, the situation will not disappear on its own and will not disappear anytime soon, so it's essential to have a strategy in place. There may be a time when you feel desperation and fear that your failed marriage will prevent you from finding love again. Instead of rushing into a new relationship, you should stay grounded and overcome your temptation, and work on healing yourself. Remember, falling in love is easy, but staying in love is not easy. So step back and heal yourself; give time and opportunity to build your relationship on love, not build it on fear, fear of not finding new love.

WHY MARRIAGE FAILS There are many reasons why marriages fail, and that doesn't mean marriage is a bad thing. Some marriages can be worked out or not worth saving it. However, all married couples will endure challenging times during their marriage, whether emotional or physical; both components have the same consequences. One of the leading causes of a failed marriage is betrayal. Betraying breakdown the emotional, physical, and spiritual bond that the couple had for each other. If that bond is broken or damaged, it's doubtful that the marriage is safe or regular again because we couldn't find ways to bypass the person we love who has betrayed us. A small percentage will try to save the marriage, and some may make it; others may regret it later because either history repeats itself or we simply couldn't bypass the thought of being betrayed. Those determined to give it a second chance may have invested so much in the marriage and didn't want to slaughter it; others may be deeply in love and can't seem to live without the other. Either way, both will endure many obstacles ahead of them. Rebuilding a broken relationship is not easy; it will take time, confidence, and strength to conquer the obstacles ahead. However, a tiny percentage will make it through and often ends up more substantial. Boundaries could be one of the reasons why marriage fails, too. Boundaries play an essential part in the marriage. The couple may often don't show their limits because they assume that their partner is on the same page. When a partner is not on the same page, they become frustrated and annoyed because the boundaries have crossed. It's easy to void boundaries being crossed; the way to do is to express the limits and expectations at the beginning of a relationship. Being transparent and setting your expectation at the beginning will help prevent the breakdown of the relationship.

Divorce is associated with negativity and a sense of loss of integrity. When a marriage ends, these emotional states surface without awareness—learning to manage and transit with integrity and a sense of self. Many are turning to Buddha's teachings to help them transition from a painful life into a learning process and make life better for themself. Buddha's teachings of Buddhism derived from the young prince Siddhartha's disillusionment. The presence of the pain and suffering in the world destroyed the perfect world image that his father had imparted on him. It's the same as the illusion we create for ourselves that marriage is a happily ever after. "Pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is optional." —The Buddha Buddhist teachings that may help reduce your suffering. Attachments When divorce hits, the past, present, and future of our actions all come into life. In the face of doubtfulness and dilemma, you are drive to grip on what you know and what you had. In Buddha's teaching, by gripping on to those attachments, you're creating suffering for yourself. Whether it's past, present, or future, learn to release and let go of that attachment that will lead you to a more peaceful existence. Control and act on the thing that may invoke your feeling of frustration; when you grasp and cling to what you think you "know," you are creating unnecessary suffering. Compassion It is challenging to have compassion for someone we dislike or who has mistreated us in some way. While the tendency might be to avoid this person (most likely an ex), Buddha would see this person like the heart of his spiritual practice, challenging to develop positive qualities. Compassion is the flip side of anger; it keeps the heart open when it wants to close off with fear. Compassion is fostered by remaining connected, no matter how painful it may be. Maintaining compassion through a divorce is an achievement, but it will ensure that your loving nature remains intact. Karma The law of karma is the universal principle of actions and reactions or causes and effects. Your daily actions are the cause of your suffering or happiness. Do not look for answers outside of yourself, nor should you believe that you are a victim of a random universe. You may feel that you're the victim of your divorce; Karma is your key to taking responsibility for what comes in and out of your world. The word karma means "action" or "deed"—actions and deeds that impact only you and the time you inhabit on this earth. When taking responsibility for your action, you're changing your karma and ultimately present and future circumstances. Mindfulness Mindfulness is the ability to live in the present moment and be aware of the intention behind what we do. When we are not mindful, we remain in a state of being obstructed, which needs to be corrected. Mindfulness helps you respond and gain perspective, balance, and freedom. Stepping back and observing events provides the most significant opportunity for acting with complete integrity and honor. Aversion The fundamental teachings of the Buddha are that pain is an inevitable part of the physical world, and suffering is our reaction to the unavoidable pain in our life. Divorce is one of the unavoidable pain experiences, but it should not be suffering. Divorce is one of those unavoidably painful life experiences, but it doesn't have to involve suffering. Like touching a hot stove, our first reaction to pain is to move away. Our aversion to the pain creates more suffering and reduces the opportunity to heal. Suffering is directly related to resisting the reality of what you are dealing with. Instead, the Buddha would suggest doing what you can to restore balance, to let things take their course. Complete avoidance will only prolong the pain. Impermanence In Buddhism, impermanence (Buddha's three marks of existence, three conditions that characterize all of life, and are always present) is referred to as an Anicca(unstable) — the truth of impermanence. It is the belief that all of our experiences are constantly changing and that nothing is permanent. For example, one of the most significant causes of pain during divorce is that things will never be the same and that what you feel now will last forever. Therefore, Buddha would apply the enlightenment of Anicca to maintain a sense of calm and perspective through the grief and loss of divorce. Remembering that nothing in life is permanent, don't let it make you feel bogged down or lose yourself in what feels like an eternal experience of pain and discomfort.

DEALING WITH SPOUSE'S EX Being a stepparent is primarily about accepting new changes. To be a successful stepparent, you must focus on your spouse and your marriage instead of trying to be friends with your spouse's ex, believing that by doing so, your life will be nonviolent. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Remember that second marriage has a higher chance of divorce; therefore, to make your second marriage work, first, you will have to set boundaries and expectations with your spouse and their ex. You must understand that divorce doesn't conclude or discontinue the interaction with the exes, especially when children are involved. Consequently, you have to set your boundaries and expectation at the beginning of the relationship. If you don't settle it early, don't expect it to be pretty later on. So, when and how do we begin? First, do not expect your second marriage to be like your first; you will have rivalries between exes and stepchildren. Therefore, you and your new spouse will need a unique set of skills to control the terrain. First, boundaries and disengagement - if you and your spouse's ex became friends, do not share your personal lives other than information that may impact the children. Do not let them lean on you for emotional support or vent a problem in the new relationship. Second, either you are a friend or not with the ex, view it as a business relationship instead of a personal one—narrow your communications straight to the point. Third, the time and consistency of new changes will help your marriage and your mental stage.